My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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