meet me or not, i'm out of control
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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