I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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