Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
