I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
