she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
