He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
