just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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