Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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