you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
