My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
