i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
