he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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