sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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