the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
