I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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