So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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