I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
you had me at cake vodka
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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