Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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