Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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