Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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