Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
