I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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