It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
