so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
