I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize