I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
