they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
