it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
