I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize