You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
