and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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