So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
