Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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