I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I smell like Dick and happiness
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