you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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