just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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