"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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