wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
