Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
