I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
