Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
