i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
