dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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