I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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