I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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