I feel great
I just peed on a car
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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