The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
That's how pantless uber rides happen
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
