If i come over, it means nothing
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
