I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
