Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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