Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
