Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
