if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize