This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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