Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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