Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
The air was thick with penises
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
