I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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