Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
