Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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