my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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