So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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